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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bachelor Pad Recap: Blake Julian and Holly Durst Get Tongue Tied; Melissa Schrieber Goes Insane

After three weeks centered around Jake Pavelka and the douchiest couple ever, Bachelor Pad pivoted to other cast members and themes Monday night.

Namely Blake Julian, Holly Durst and a whole lot of making out.

By the end, two more castoffs from The Bachelor and Bachelorette were castoffs again, while a love connection was formed (along with a bitter rivalry).

Read about it below in THG's official +/- Bachelor Pad recap:

Bachelor Pad Mauling

Jake was indeed voted off on last week's episode. Belated Minus 12. Then Minus 3 more for Jake exiting by saying it's time to start voting off the power couples. Ooh. Way to "take as many people as you can down with you" Jake.

"The devil's gone." - Kasey. Maybe so, but the evil, nasty frog remains. Minus 4.

Plus 9 for an episode largely lacking Kasey Kahl and Vienna Girardi, however.

Blake Julian was determined to win the rose in the kissing contest, becoming the star of the episode for better or worse. Plus 7 for the entertainment value of his shamelessness, but Minus 10 for being a man-whore of sorts.

Naturally, Melissa Schreiber read too much into their kiss. Plus 5.

Naturally, Erica reminded us about her injections, then slobbered on people. Not sure that's fun for most guys even if they like the person. Minus 4.

Naturally, Kasey Kahl has bad breath and repulses women (Vienna, as a small child developmentally, does not fall in that category). Minus 8 all around.

Michelle Money declines to participate because of her daughter. Ella Nolan is all for it - and wins, along with Blake - saying her son would be proud. Different convictions, but like both of those ladies this season, so Plus 9.

Holly Durst, Michael Stagliano

Blake CRUSHES Melissa by giving the date rose to Holly Durst. Plus 13 because the choice clearly boiled down to "Holly is hot, Melissa is not ... plus Melissa is CA-RAY-ZY", but he refused to spell it out in such terms.

Plus 4 more for making her stand there while he brushed his teeth.

Melissa promised Blake, "This. Will. Trash. You." Then she told Michael "[Holly] doesn't give a s--t about you." Unhinged much? Minus 17.

Blake's situation is quite simple. He hooked up with Melissa and now regrets it after getting to know Holly, a girl he likes more and is now full-on pursuing. Holly's situation is much more complicated. She has feelings for Michael, but how deep? Plus 7 for the emotional complexity and turmoil of Bachelor Pad.

Minus 6 for Mike being just a little bit pathetic. He dumped her, too.

At least they're very real. When he went to profess his love for her again, and learned she kissed Blake, it was so awkward. No one knew how to act. Plus 9.

B. Pad Twitter

See Twitter exchange above. Plus 15 for Chris Harrison promoting the show in this fashion. Minus 10 for Melissa publicly begging Chris Harrison to follow her. Plus 5 for the fact that Chris wasn't following her in the first place.

Plus 6 more for the host-pimp's expressions overseeing the kissing contest.

Ella went out on a very sweet, uneventful and non-controversial date with Kirk DeWindt. Plus 9 because we can sort of see those two together.

Minus 7 for the obligatory 2-3 minutes in every episode where Bachelor Pad leads us to believe that Kasey may be going home, then he stays.

Not surprisingly, the Crazy Town Express is derailed at the rose ceremony. As for the guys, William Holman got the boot. In other news, William was on Bachelor Pad this season. Who knew! In Big Brother parlance, he was a floater. Minus 4.

Michelle, tearfully, on William: "He is the salt of the earth, the greatest guy. He does not deserve to be going home." Awww. Wait, huh?! Eh, Plus 6.

EPISODE TOTAL: +17. SEASON TOTAL: +45.

GONE: William Holman, Melissa Schrieber.

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